Competitions
Competitions
The UBMC offers a just-for-fun bouldering league which gives you a good chance to improve your climbing but also have a good laugh. There are also a number of mystery random prizes given out at each round. So if your feeling lucky come on down and you might win that bottle of cheap rosé you've always wanted!
The team:
This academic year we have seen a number of exciting changes to the organisation of the climbing team. By joining the Athletics Union, we have received funding towards a structured training programme run the Redpoint Climbing Wall. Furthermore, both Redpoint and Rock On have mistakenly sponsored our degenerative team, and have provided us with some great benefits, prizes and local competitions, We have once again entered two teams and a number of individual competitors into the LUBE league and the annual BUCS competition.
Alex Dexter
When the good lord was handing out climbing technique, Dexter was busy training on his fingerboard. You can begrudge his outlandish reach, and despise his inhumane strength, but no one can deny that Dexter is a consistently high performing boulderer. This urban climber is destined to perform well this year. What a punter!
Defining characteristics: A beautiful body but ugly footwork.
Bill ‘Whipped’ Murray
The UBMC is fortunate to have a famous actor amongst its ranks. Will underachieves when it comes to climbing, and has done nothing to demonstrate his alleged talent since arriving in the club this year. Furthermore, Bill Murray bleaches his hair.
Defining characterists: Does an incredibly realistic impression of Dexter.
Jack ‘Woah’ Brougham.
Jack has a laid back approach to life, and to warming up, which is why he is frequently injured, and even more frequently complaining about it. Jack has really put into perspective just how good an indoor sec the infamous Bear Grylls really was. Regardless, Jack is a heavily improved climber this year, and is looking to be a route judge for a third year running at this year’s BUCS competition.
Defining characteristics: Red sclera and a very chilled approach.
Jake ‘Shotgun’ Duddy
What Jake lacks in climbing ability, he firmly makes up for in climbing etiquette. Jake is looking to compete with Alek for the throne of least able climber on the team. However, Jake has a lot yet to learn from his veteran mentor.
Defining characteristics: Purple hair and stimulating car conversation.
Alek ‘Oh dear’ Kumar
Alek has been the longest serving member of the UBMC climbing team in the club’s 78 year history, but impressively has not progressed at all. Over the years, Alek has watched novices rapidly become stronger and more technically able than him, and must surely be looking to choose another sport when he finally finishes his degree. Regardless, Alek still believes he has potential, and is keen to really upset a few more people off before he leaves the team.
Defining characteristics: Favourable first impressions and climbs like a small girl.
Steffen Cruz
Steffen is new to the climbing team this year, and his hard work over the summer has turned him into a strong competitor. More importantly, Steffen is a brilliant team player, and as he would have you believe, the only ‘player’ on the team. Promiscuous behaviour aside, Steffen is a very charismatic and welcome addition to the team. Steffen’s main ambition this year is to stay awake for a single car journey. Ungrateful ****.
Defining characterstics: Large in both body and mind.
Helen Dale
Age has failed to tarnish Helen’s exceptional talent as a climber, and she remains an extremely valued member of the team. Time and again, Helen has outperformed the boys, and has proven that good footwork and technique is more than a match for brute strength and dynamic moves. Helen is highly respected by the other girls on the team, and plays an important role in helping them to climb harder.
Defining characteristics: Nails on crimps, but not so good at spelling.
Annie Rose Byass-Clark
Annie joined the team last year and immediately gave veteran Helen a run for her money. Both strong and enthusiastic, Annie will undoubtedly be aiming to compete in the ‘A team’ this year. Annie is also looking to outcompete Alaina for the boys in the team this year. I wouldn’t bother Annie, they’re all mingers. Except Bill.
Defining characteristics: Broad, muscular shoulders.
Alaina Beacall
Alaina has developed into a competitive climber since her debut in the team two years ago. Some attribute this to her recent switch to male partners, and others to her rumoured abandonment of veganism as a way of life. Either way, this is one determined chica, who certainly doesn’t take failure in her stride, with men or bouldering.
Defining characteristics: Incredibly demanding and dependent on men for a feminist.
Ahlam Qattan
Hallie is new to the team this year, and has shown some promising enthusiasm in the competitions so far. Whilst Hallie has just one year of climbing under her burka, she certainly has the potential to really shine this year under the strong guidance of Helen and Annie.
Defining characteristics: Atypical climbing attire.
