Stanage: Trip Report 2023
We have kicked off UBMC’s 2023 trips with another successful visit to Stanage! Lots of new and old Stoats all came together for a pretty wild weekend. Tons of climbing, sock wrestling but not enough meanie!!
With the Jess, El and Nat leading the charge in the wholesome minibus, we set off from Northgate on Friday night. Thanks to our glorious President inspiring the freshers to arrive early, a rapid departure was achieved, with everyone out of Birmingham by 7:12!
Once in the peaks our youngest fresher Alex Turner (real name Dan) was crowned; entrusted with the shame snake - which he protected with pride. And with that a potential social sec was found, eager to bathe in the role’s glory.
Early Saturday morning the convey of climbers departed to a mist covered Stanage Edge. Stoats swarmed the climbs with levels of psyche never seen before. Bomber gear was placed. Buttresses were topped. Joel kept saying Beast. Stoats kept climbing until late in the afternoon, before returning to the hut, eager for some grub!
While the last cracks were being clambered a keen squad of committee set to work preparing the most delicious of food - Ming. Within a mere 4 hours, a metric ton of Ming was on the tables being wolfed down by freshers and old gits alike.
In the shadows, with most of the club distracted with the washing up, four generations of social secs began to concoct the glorious MEANIE!! Once the ingredients (which are definitely completely and utterly unknown to all except the social secs) were decanted the new and improved meanie stick was used to mix the smorgasbord of flavours into a single perfect drink.
Following a traditional blessing, including a dunking of Dan and an honorary presidential tasting, the meanie fuelled party began! We pulled out all the stops. Tables were traversed, pennies were deployed and socks were stolen.
Alex bested his fellow social sec Will to start the completion, a crushing blow. Our mighty team captain Ian, who has beaten many an elite climber, was put in his place by team manager James. Dual after dual, the night went on until a true Ed Priestly was ready to blow everyone’s minds with his flaming skills.
The meanie ran low and the stoats started to hit the hay, but not all! Long Will decided his room wasn’t up to scratch and relocated - still in his sleeping bag - to join the cows. As soon as he had been retrieved, a few over-meanified freshers were put to bed and all was peaceful.
The Late rise on Sunday signified a truly tradtastic party, but crags were still left unclimbed so Ian rallied the troops with a trusty pair of pans. Breakfast was eaten, floors were vacuumed and cars were filled. Off to Stanage plantation for round 2!
Despite their lack of sleep, many of the stoats kept their psyche high for the day. Megan showed off her skills, sending a route so crazy that rock facts didn’t even know it existed. A rare sight was seen on Sunday, Ian failed to flash an E4, briefly losing his spider like abilities.
At one point Daphne (probably midway through climbing a cheeky E23) ran out of gear, however Ed and Harry came to the rescue. With two magnificent throws, a cam was sent flying up to Daphne, who caught it perfectly before slapping it into a crack and rapidly finishing the route.
As the day went on the sun started to shine, a lovely end to the weekend. Once basically all the crag had been climbed we headed back. One final stop at the classic Derby McDonalds and all the Stoats were back home, tired but full of psyche for a year full of climbing.
See you at the top!
